From Texas: We sold a home to a retired colonel. He and his wife have moved in and the question of how to address him has caused a debate in our office: Do we still use colonel or Mr. because he is retired?
This homeowner is still addressed as Colonel, regardless of the fact that he is retired. Address correspondence to Colonel and Mrs. John Smith (the salutation would read Dear Colonel and Mrs. Smith, ). In conversation, address him as Colonel Smith until he says “just call me John”. His wife is Mrs. Smith until she says to use her first name.
This question sent us to our reference shelf where we found fascinating information in such abundance that space prohibits our doing justice to it. The question about the correct form of address for retired military personnel is just the tip of the honorable iceberg.
When do you use Miss, Mrs., Ms., and Madame? Is the homeowner a widow? A divorcee? How should you address doctors? Church dignitaries? Politicians? Judges? What if the homeowner you are writing to is “junior” or the 3rd? When do you use “esquire”?
The variations and circumstances are so numerous that our best suggestion is that you obtain one of the books mentioned, or another you find that covers the subject clearly. Of the ten titles we consulted, the best sources turned out to be books titled Letitia Baldridge Complete Guide to Executive Manners and Emily Post‘s Etiquette (16th edition).
The time and effort you invest consulting a good source on this is worthwhile. As Baldridge says, “To address others properly is not only a questions of courtesy, but also of a well polished company image, continued good business relationships and profitability.”
In other words, the retired colonel and his wife may have friends in the market for a home. Show them your professional best.
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